goo goo g’joob

THE ART OF WALRUSING

This weekend, Tom and I promised each other we would make no commitments to entertain, nor engage in any random acts of home improvement. Anything even remotely productive would be off limits this weekend. We promised each other a week of pure unadulterated laziness, or as we like to call it, walrusing.

I feel quite sure I don’t have to explain why the walrus is our avatar of sloth and inactivity, but in case I do, I invite you to picture for a moment, a bunch of walruses.

Are you picturing them?

I can wait.

Have you gotten that image in your mind’s eye yet?

Ok, what are they doing? They’re lying around, right? Lying around all blubbery and sluggish. Perhaps one or two will occasionally lift their head and back flippers up at the same time, once maybe twice, reminiscent of a new gym member trying to do some “floor work” for the first time. But they’re all pretty much lounging.

Ok, I think you have the idea.

Now, I’d like to point out that Tom did not live up to the challenge. He very maliciously did laundry, the dishes, and some minor tree pruning.

The audacity!

I, on the other hand, took no shower, wore the same sweats I slept in, stepped over a pile of dirty clothes and padded over to my computer where I pushed a dirty dish from last night onto Tom’s desk and I surfed the net most of the day.

I showed him!

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