100%

January 8, 2008

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THE SINGER

She sings for the crowd,
and feels very proud
of a voice that can shatter glass.

But rather than cheers,
the crowd plugs their ears,
She sounds like she’s full of hot gas.

——————————————

Despite what others think, our heroine perseveres. She gives it everything she’s got. She gives 100%. That and some Beano might help her reach her ultimate goal, and if not, at least she’ll never need to ask that burning question…”what if?”

Illustration Friday’s theme this week is 100%.

post-holiday doldrumoids

January 4, 2008

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We all know they exist, but for the first time ever, caught in mid-listless, despondency, is what experts commonly refer to as the Post-holiday Doldrumoid…in the flesh……or rather, the sketch.

No matter. They are here and we have got to deal with them.

Some effective methods of coping with these ubiquitous yet unwelcome creatures are:

1. Ignore them. Doldrumoids have been known to eventually lose interest and reluctantly disappear after a week or two.

2. Keep that crunchy Christmas tree up for another month, along with the exterior icicle lights and the inflatable snow globe on your lawn. Do this while ignoring the fact that the holidays are over. This method seems to keep the Doldrumoids at bay, but leaves the door wide open for Lackus Deselfrespectus spors to take hold.

There are no easy answers, but…

3. For those of us who need to get back to business as usual…pronto, there is one drastic measure that can be implemented. Take tree and exterior lights down, box up Christmas decorations, shove said boxes up in garage rafters, eat salad, go to the gym and then actually produce those logo designs for you employer/client as opposed to staring blankly at the monitor (close mouth, wipe drool of chin.)

In the event none of the above methods prove effective, one can always hold on until February 14 when a virulent strain of Guiltus Cupidus overcomes the weakened Doldrumoids, offering minimal relief to some sufferers.

This has been a public service announcement. Thank you.

soar

January 2, 2008

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FLYING WEINER DOG

The Illustration Friday theme for this week is “Soar…”

…and who among us, upon being asked to depict “soaring”, hasn’t conjured up an image of the quintessential icon of grace and all that is lofty, the flying wiener dog?

Who, I ask you?

Just me, you say?

Ahem…well, ok then.

Just moments ago, our backyard was visited by three raccoons. This visitation was heralded by the guttural caterwauling of Joey our big black kitty. Joey has made it clear he is not nearly as entertained by the masked interlopers as Tom and I are. We gently shush Joey, trying to make sure he doesn’t scare the coons away. But they’re too smart. They know we’re there watching them, and they put on a short but sweet little show of waddling and clowning before they scamper off into the night.

So, I choose to interpret the apperance of our three guests as a good omen for 2008. In fact, I plan to, as often as possible, soar through this next year with all the good humor, grace and hopefulness of the beloved flying wiener dog herself.

Happy New Year everyone!
.

horizon

December 26, 2007

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BUBBLE TROUBLE

Ted chewed up his gum,
because he had some.
He blew up a giant sized bubble.

The bubble was hollow,
and managed to swallow
his mother–now Ted’s in big trouble.

This week’s Illstration Friday theme is “horizon” and as you can see Ted and his long suffering mother are not quite seeing things eye to eye and are therefore on different communication horizons. Perhaps with a little effort on both their parts, some common ground can be gained.

Hope everyone enjoyed a lovely holiday. Currently recovering from an absolutely fabulous Christmas myself. Want to wish a very Happy New Year to everyone!

airy fairy

December 22, 2007

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Pretty cutestie stuff, I know. But hey, it’s the last day at work before a long holiday weekend and instead of the usual property management or men’s apparel clients, I was given the task to come up with something for a children’s clothing line. The client wanted a fairy princess with a rainbow coming out of her wand.

So who am I to argue?

An enjoyable project, that felt like playing on the job…and I get paid for it!!

You have to love it!

So, here is the proposed label art, (or at least a first go,) and a vector version, for a possible logo.

Cheers!

fairy-vector450.jpg

kitties_tree.jpg

A quick sketch of the Christmas card idea that got away.

Mind you, this whole scene is really no more than a pipe dream, as my two boys Spooky and Joey, would rather box each other than cooperate on anything, let alone help poor little Iggy on a star-topping project. Iggy, however, would more likely be found chasing her tail or hunting down and ruthlessly killing dust bunnies, than ever try to coordinate anything of this nature.

Ah well, one can dream, can’t one?

front side

December 18, 2007

kitty-front3.jpg

Tiger wants to apologize for his rude display yesterday. Sure, there was important business to attend to, chasing after some lint fluttering around on the ground, I believe it was, but, well, he just wasn’t being very sensitive to the people behind him. Tail up in the air, kicking up snow, he just wasn’t behaving well at all.

Go ahead Tiger, tell them what you wanted to say.

Um, ok. Prrrrrrrrrrt will have to do for now.

backside

December 16, 2007

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The Illustration Friday theme this week is “Backside.”

Oh…hold on…,

what…?

Oooooooh!

Excuse me, I’ve just been informed that Illustration Friday’s theme this week is actually “Backwards.”

So sorry. Well, I hope you won’t mind a little kitty backside in your face. Those of us who have feline roomates experience this on a regular basis. I think you know what I mean.

Anyway, this kitty’s backside is pulling double duty, as it is also the theme of my holiday greeting card for 2007.

Enjoy.

unsung hero

December 15, 2007

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During this holiday season, many of us will be rushing from party to party, slugging down eggnog and carelessly ripping apart painstakingly wrapped presents. We’ll, no doubt, be thanking Santa for all the lovely gifts bestowed upon us, giving him all the credit for the momentary glee we experience as we pile up our newly aquired swag.

Well, before you tear into that last box of See’s candy, I invite you to take a moment. Take a moment to think about the folks who worked tirelessly all year long, well into the wee hours of the morning. The people working behind the scenes to make it all possible, the ones really responsible for that silly smile on your face

I’m speaking of course, of the elf.

Elves. The unsung heroes of Christmas. So again, please take a moment. Think of them in their ill fitting, green suits and their pointy little shoes. Think of how their efforts make Mr. Kringle look good. That’s all they really want, is just a moment. A moment of recognition.

A moment of recognition, and maybe an extra cookie set out on the table Christmas Eve night. (They don’t really eat much.)

Thank you, this has been a Public Service Announcement, paid for by E.L.F.S. (Elves Looking for Sympathy.)

little things

December 13, 2007

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POOR MELISSA

Melissa’s life is hard because
she has to wash the dishes.
She has to do her homework then
she has to feed the fishes.

Mom nags at her to clean her room,
until her face turns red,
then makes her eat her broccoli,
before she goes to bed!

Above are the first couple of verses from a much longer rhyme I wrote a couple of years ago. After much pouting and mischief ensues, Melissa has an epiphany that forever changes her life. Quite a compelling story…if you’re seven.

The theme for Illustration Friday is “Little Things”. Melissa is a little thing, and there are many little things getting on her nerves lately.

A bit of a stretch? Perhaps. It’s the holidays, I’m tryin’ over here.

out on a limb

December 10, 2007

hanginthere.jpg

No, I’m not speaking of Shirley MacLaine’s New Age novel from the 80’s. Nope, not talking about risk taking. In fact, I believe “hanging by a thread” might be a more appropriate term, (if you’ll allow me to be a bit melodramatic.) To put it in more realistic and simple terms, I’ve been procrastinating and am now scrambling with throngs of others, to achieve all my Christmas goals.

It’s tradition!

It always seems to come together nicely in the end, with little or no injury and sanity intact. In fact, I seem to do my best under pressure of looming deadlines. So really, no complaints, just a little kitty hanging on a limb, bearing an expression that mimics mine at the moment.

I’m going to resist telling you that I’m “hanging in there”, but really, we’ll both be fine. Like all felines, he’ll land on his feet, and I’m pretty sure I will as well.

a tail of well-read bunnies

December 7, 2007

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A well-read bunny,
is sitting on his tail.
He’d rather read a book,
than open up his mail.

It’s really quite astounding,
will wonders never cease,
although he is a bunny,
he’s reading “War and Peace.”

———————————–
This is dedicated to the scholarly rabbit in all of us.

have yourself a…

December 6, 2007

santa3.jpg

…Merry Little Chrismahannakwanza!

Whatever holiday you celebrate or choose not to celebrate this winter, I hope it’s the happiest ever!!

Christmas is the holiday Tom and I both grew up with and still enjoy with gusto, although I’d never turn down an invitation or opportunity to participate in a Hannukah, Kwanza or any other holiday celebration. The more opportunities to hang out with friends, eat (food you would never dream of eating the rest of the year due to sheer terror of heart failure,) or light candles, the better!

For us Christmassy types, many towns in the U.S. have what they call Candy Cane Lane, or a Candy Cane Lane-like street, where every blade of grass on every lawn of every house is blinking, strobing or sparkling with copious amounts of holiday lights and decorations. However, in Valencia, CA the entire town is pretty much a Candy Cane Lane.

Yes folks, Christmas threw up on our town.

What we lack in the beauty and wonder of snowfall, we more than make up with a king’s ransom of an and electric bill and Home Depot receipt.

Tom and I bring up the rear with a token strand of red lights tacked lovingly across the front of our house. We tell ourselves we’re trying to be green, but really, we’re just too lazy busy. Why, we’ve got “Daily Show” reruns to watch.

But you know, as excessive as all the lights, giant blow up snowglobes, and creepy animated santas are, there’s nothing Tom and I like better than taking a detour on the way home from work to gawk at the handiwork of our zealous neighbors.

It’s the closest thing to tradition we have in our suburban town, and we’ve grown to love it.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Above is a an image I drew in Photoshop for my 2002 Christmas card. Thought I’d try to get a little more mileage out of it.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

excess!

December 3, 2007

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BUNNIES FOR BEN

For a small sum of money
Ben bought a pet bunny,
then figured he’d buy
just one more.

Ben felt some regrets,
because his two pets
soon became
four hundred and four!

Excess is the theme for Illustration Friday this week. So I once again dusted off a page of the children’s book I’ve been working on, (it’s been coming in pretty handy.)

I wrote this silly little rhyme and drew Ben and his bunnies about a year ago. It seemed fairly apropo for the theme.

I love it when things come together like that.

zoo

November 24, 2007

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“BIG ENOUGH TO SHADE AN ELEPHANT”

This week’s Illustration Friday theme is “Zoo”. A great theme and certainly in keeping with the animal idioms I’ve been illustrating for weeks now. It also seemed high time for an elephant drawing. It’s almost always a good time to draw elephants, in my opinion.

Elephants are some of the most intelligent creatures you’ll ever run accross. However, due to their stubborn refusal to use sunscreen and a shortage of extra large golf umbrellas, the elephant’s skin has become prematurely wrinkled and leathery.

Although the expression “Big enough to shade an elephant” proved itself fertile ground for image ideas, sadly, I could dig up no origin. For all I know, it’s not a well worn, seasoned old saying at all, but rather some blogger’s witticism from a few weeks ago, caught in the Google web. No matter, I decided to post the origin of another elephant saying, less visually inspiring but none-the-less interesting in it’s origin:

White Elephant

Meaning: A burdensome possession; creating more trouble than it is worth.Origin: White (albino) elephants were regarded as holy in ancient times in Thailand and other Asian countries. Keeping a white elephant was a very expensive undertaking, since the owner had to provide the elephant with special food and provide access for people who wanted to worship it. If a Thai King became dissatisfied with a subordinate, he would give him a white elephant. The gift would, in most cases, ruin the recipient.

Obviously the white elephants are a bit more vigilant about the use of 30SPF.