rare as hen’s teeth

November 8, 2007


Henrietta prided herself on being one of the rare hens with teeth

I’m still on this animal idiom kick. I imagine it’s because ideas for daily sketches can be a bit elusive at times and this theme is pretty rich with visuals. Why, I haven’t even exhausted the chicken expressions yet.

Let’s see, there was the “chicken who crossed the road”, supposedly to get to the other side. I think it’s “a cock-and -bull story.” If she hadn’t “counted her chickens before they hatched”, she may not have “chickened out”. Now, she’ll have to wait “till the “chickens come home to roost.”

Sorry, had to get that get that off my chest.

Speaking of crossing the road, and getting things off your chest, I saw something perplexing as I took my daily stroll to Starbucks, today at lunch. I saw a fellow pedestrian, a young man in his early twenties, dart out in front of a car, cause the driver to slam on his breaks, barely escape becoming a grease spot, and then, just carry on, calmly, without missing a beat.

Now, I realize California state law claims pedestrians have the right of way, but it’s only if you are NOT jaywalking, ie: breaking the law. So I had to wonder, is this guy just completely oblivious, or does he have what is known (well, at least to me) as “Pedestrian Bubblitis?”

The onset of “Bubblitis” or “Bi-pedal Idiocity”, usually begins around puberty and can last up to 70 years. The symptoms consist of, a sense of dwelling within a protective bubble, an overblown sense of entitlement, and acute common sense deficiency accompanied by runny nose and fever.

Apparently, there is no cure for this affliction, but I wonder if adopting the rules of the sea (yielding right of way to the larger vessel) might be in order. I mean a large SUV, (say a Suburban or Escalade,) could knock you right out of your protective bubble and onto your ass in 2 seconds flat! So why, as a soft, smooshy, pedestrian, wouldn’t you yield to it?

Just a thought.

These are questions that haunt me, and what any of this has to do with chickens, I’m not really sure.