the fifth day of Christmas

Alright. Seriously. At the end of the day, which golden ring gives you more pleasure, the ore or the onion?

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Come join me and my illustrator buddies at The Doodle Diner where we’ll be celebrating the holidays with the Twelve Days of Christmas. Visit us each day from now until Christmas Eve, to see what illustration goodness we have in store.

Oh, and when you’re done, why not check back here. The whole Twelve Day thing inspired me and  it looks like I’m doing some quick sketches for the Twelve Days myself.

Take a look at the First Day, Second Day, Third Day and Fourth Day.

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flying

Constantly looking over here shoulder, Zeldalina was more concerned about where she’d been than where she actually was at the moment. A tad hazardous while flitting around on a broom, wouldn’t you say?

So our lesson for the day is what?
Our lesson for the day is: Live in the moment… or end up as a Halloween decoration, wrapped around your neighbor’s tree.

The end.

IF: drifting

SHEEP SLEEP (or Counting Peeps)

Sheila Sheepington-Fleecewater,
found it hard to sleep well.

So she sipped a bit of sweet water, 
while she counted people.

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The Illustration Friday theme lends itself to quite a few images this week. However, what immediately comes to my mind is the trouble “drifting” off to sleep insomnia often gives me, as my alter-ego Sheila demonstrates above. (Plus, I wanted another excuse to draw sheep shoes.)

detached

I’m feeling a bit detached this week.

Hanging out at the mall this weekend, I observed the legions of fellow detached humans and scrawled out a very rough impression.

Detached? Or are they? I don’t know anymore. They seem to be attached to someone, but certainly not the one they are physically with.

What do you think?

and a star will “lean” them

A quick sketch of the Christmas card idea that got away.

Mind you, this whole scene is really no more than a pipe dream, as my two boys Spooky and Joey, would rather box each other than cooperate on anything, let alone help poor little Iggy on a star-topping project. Iggy, however, would more likely be found chasing her tail or hunting down and ruthlessly killing dust bunnies, than ever try to coordinate anything of this nature.

Ah well, one can dream, can’t one?

front side

Tiger wants to apologize for his rude display yesterday. Sure, there was important business to attend to, chasing after some lint fluttering around on the ground, I believe it was, but, well, he just wasn’t being very sensitive to the people behind him. Tail up in the air, kicking up snow, he just wasn’t behaving well at all.

Go ahead Tiger, tell them what you wanted to say.

Um, ok. Prrrrrrrrrrt will have to do for now.

backside

The Illustration Friday theme this week is “Backside.”

Oh…hold on…,

what…?

Oooooooh!

Excuse me, I’ve just been informed that Illustration Friday’s theme this week is actually “Backwards.”

So sorry. Well, I hope you won’t mind a little kitty backside in your face. Those of us who have feline roomates experience this on a regular basis. I think you know what I mean.

Anyway, this kitty’s backside is pulling double duty, as it is also the theme of my holiday greeting card for 2007.

Enjoy.

out on a limb

No, I’m not speaking of Shirley MacLaine’s New Age novel from the 80’s. Nope, not talking about risk taking. In fact, I believe “hanging by a thread” might be a more appropriate term, (if you’ll allow me to be a bit melodramatic.) To put it in more realistic and simple terms, I’ve been procrastinating and am now scrambling with throngs of others, to achieve all my Christmas goals.

It’s tradition!

It always seems to come together nicely in the end, with little or no injury and sanity intact. In fact, I seem to do my best under pressure of looming deadlines. So really, no complaints, just a little kitty hanging on a limb, bearing an expression that mimics mine at the moment.

I’m going to resist telling you that I’m “hanging in there”, but really, we’ll both be fine. Like all felines, he’ll land on his feet, and I’m pretty sure I will as well.

…like a fish needs a bicycle

I know, I know, enough with the fish already. What is this my third fish post?

Well, you see, on Thanksgiving day, my brother-in-law Carl, when I told him about the animal idiom themes I’ve been sketching lately, he suggested a phrase from the U2 song “Tryin’ to Throw Your Arms Around the World” (Achtung Baby.)

…nothin’ much to say I guessJust the same as all the restBeen trying to throw your arms around the worldAnd a woman needs a manLike a fish needs a bicycleWhen you’re tryin’ to throw your arms around the worldI’m gonna run to you, run to you, run to youI’m gonna run to you, run to you, run to youI’m gonna run to you, run to you, run to you……and on and on.

So what is the meaning of this particular song?

You got me there.

I understand that Bono and the lads meant it as a bit of a drinking song. In fact, I believe it may have been one of the 5 thousand U2 songs we heard performed by The Glass Onion Band, at the Quays Pub in Galway, on our trip to Ireland last year. They love their U2 over there in Ireland. I’ll tell ya, get enough Jameson whiskey in your gullet and you might find yourself singing U2 songs all night as well.

Now, as for the phrase, “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle,” well that’s simply a feminist slogan, suggesting that men are superfluous to women’s needs.

You know.

Funny, I realized how far I’d come, when Carl reminded me of that line and my mind conjured up the ridiculous fish image you see above, rather than the passionate, bra-burning, feminist fervor it once would have. I’m not saying my political views have changed all that much, but I have calmed down a tad over the years. These days I burn up any excess energy by drawing goofy cartoon animals and I try to keep my under garments in a nice, cool, dry place.

As for women and men, I don’t know about need, but a little interdependence is always nice. As for fish, they should probably stick to roller blades.

zoo

“BIG ENOUGH TO SHADE AN ELEPHANT”

This week’s Illustration Friday theme is “Zoo”. A great theme and certainly in keeping with the animal idioms I’ve been illustrating for weeks now. It also seemed high time for an elephant drawing. It’s almost always a good time to draw elephants, in my opinion.

Elephants are some of the most intelligent creatures you’ll ever run accross. However, due to their stubborn refusal to use sunscreen and a shortage of extra large golf umbrellas, the elephant’s skin has become prematurely wrinkled and leathery.

Although the expression “Big enough to shade an elephant” proved itself fertile ground for image ideas, sadly, I could dig up no origin. For all I know, it’s not a well worn, seasoned old saying at all, but rather some blogger’s witticism from a few weeks ago, caught in the Google web. No matter, I decided to post the origin of another elephant saying, less visually inspiring but none-the-less interesting in it’s origin:

White Elephant

Meaning: A burdensome possession; creating more trouble than it is worth.Origin: White (albino) elephants were regarded as holy in ancient times in Thailand and other Asian countries. Keeping a white elephant was a very expensive undertaking, since the owner had to provide the elephant with special food and provide access for people who wanted to worship it. If a Thai King became dissatisfied with a subordinate, he would give him a white elephant. The gift would, in most cases, ruin the recipient.

Obviously the white elephants are a bit more vigilant about the use of 30SPF.

as awkward as a cow on roller skates

I stumbled upon this term in a couple of places online. I’ve never actually heard anyone utter (or udder) this particular phrase, but by golly if it’s on the internet it must be true, right? Well, regardless of it’s validity, this alleged idiom tickled me, and I immediately conjured up an image.

Granted, the little bovine beauty above does not appear to be awkward at all. Instead, she seems to be gliding right along, hauling…well…er…beef, if you will.

superstition

MONSTER

A monster with horns,
as prickly as thorns,
delighted in causing folks dread.

But he shuddered with fright,
at the thought that there might
be a kid hiding under his bed.

Illustration Friday’s theme thise week is “Superstition.”

My drawing is a “mostly” finished watercolor/pastel for a children’s book project I’ve been dragging my feet on for quite a while now. Although not depicting the typical black cat, Friday the 13th, broken mirror type superstition, I figured the old monster-under-the bed theme illustrates a sort of superstion many children have. Although, whether or not it is a superstion or reality is still in question. I certainly had a hideous mouth breather lurking amongst the dust bunnies under my half of the bunk beds. If it wasn’t for the safety of my blanket, pulled up to my eyeballs for protection, I would have been monster munch and wouldn’t even be hear to tell you about it.

kitticons

Ignatz • Joey (nickname Joseph) • Spooky

I swore I would never do this, but at this moment in time, the desktop of my Mac is cluttered beyond belief. I’ve always tried to be organized….ok, at least on my computer, I’ve tried to be organized. Not to keep all your files in some semblance of order can bring disaster upon your head.

Well, I think that day has come.

I don’t even remember what my desktop picture is, it’s obscured almost completely with stuff. Everywhere you look there are image files I’m working on along with downloaded images. I’ve got text files with written reminders I’ll never read because there are too many of them and so I’ll forget whatever it was I wanted to remind myself in the first place. There does exist, a few folders, born of feeble attempts to coordinate. And, like many people I know, this clutter-fest of a desktop, among other things is filled with icons. Simpson icons, Bloom County icons, Monster icons, kitty icons, all sorts of icons. God forbid I should have some run-of-the-mill folder or something mature housing my many files.

I look at my screen and swear, this weekend, I’m going to do it, I’m going to clean up, all the while, adding more and more files to the mix.

This is what happens once you let desktop sloth get started, people! It’s a slippery slope!

So, I thought, hmmm, maybe I’ll put my icons to work. I’ll stuff them with files and try to orchestrate some sort of cohesian, sanity perhaps. Maybe I’ll even make some of my own icons.

Yeah, that’s it! Icons will be my salvation.

I used the little piece of software, IconBuilder, that Tom found and created 3 “kitticons” in the likeness of our three kitties. If I had a lick of sense, I’d figure out a way to post them on here, so anyone interested could download them. But, alas, I don’t have a lick of sense.

Now I’m well on my way, thanks to my three spiffy kitticons. I took the one that looks like Spooky, named it “Stuff to Sort”, piled everything from my desktop into it. Voila! Instant clean desktop!

Hey, it’s a start.

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Thanks Prunella. I think this just might work. If not, let me know.
Download Kitticons

scale

Gator Walk

Sue’s alligator,
dreamt that he ate her,
while strolling along on his leash.

To fill up his gizzard,
the oversized lizard,
decided he’d rather eat quiche.

Illustration Friday.

drink like a fish

A bass goes into into a cocktail lounge, bellies up to the bar and says, “Bartender, give me a bottle of whiskey and a seafood menu, I’m famished!”

The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve fish here.” Ba da da!

To all my friends!